I am 27 and married and have been affected by vulvar pain for about 7 years. I was misdiagnosed for 5 of those with different doctors’ diagnosis ranging from stress to the pain being in my imagination! This was very upsetting and I worried that I would never be ‘normal’ and able to have pain free sex or possibly even conceive children through intercourse.

I am originally from the UK but spent 2 years in Boston, USA. When I arrived the pain was worse than ever and I was unable to have sex at all. My doctor referred me to a gynecologist who diagnosed me with vulvodynia and recommended I read The V Book by Dr. Elizabeth Stewart. It was such a relief to finally have a diagnosis and be referred to a specialist and know I wasn’t going mad. I was so pleased I had continued pursuing a cause for the pain and not given up, which was very tempting at times. I was very lucky because the gynecolgist also referred me to Dr Stewart’s clinic who also diagnosed me with Lichen Planus, a skin condition which had triggered the vulvodynia. Dr Stewart’s team treated my skin condition and pain and referred me to Raquel for physiotherapy, it was a long wait for the appointments but it was well worth it and it changed my quality of life entirely. After just 6 weeks of visiting Raquel and completing the exercises she recommended at home I was able to have pain free intercourse and still can 5 months on.

I never thought I would be comfortable doing physiotherapy in such a personal place but Raquel is gifted at making you feel relaxed and comfortable. It wasn’t even too embarrassing when she taught my husband how to do some of the massage techniques on me so that we can continue to live a ‘normal’ life with my condition, even though we’re back in the UK.

I can never be thankful enough to Dr Stewart’s team and Raquel for the difference they’ve made to mine and my husband’s life.

I can’t believe I am writing this because just under a year ago, I was reading these pages desperately looking for a sign that there was hope for my condition. I was a 28 year old, married for 9 months and totally unable to have intercourse with my very loving husband. Every time we would attempt penetration, it would feel like we were hitting a brick wall. I was so frustrated, angry at myself and despairing of ever being “normal” when I did some research on the net and found I was not alone in this condition. Through Raquel’s website I contacted her from half way across the world and even in our email contacts; she was so honest, open and available that long before I got to the states, I knew there was hope for me.

My husband and I spent a large chunk of our savings on the trip and Raquel went out of her way to fit me into her hectic schedule. She was so warm and supportive, I cried so much in her office because I think her kindness was so overwhelming. She never let me feel hopeless or scared and she always pushed me to work towards my recovery in her signature gentle way. After I left the sates, she continued to support me via email and prevented me from losing hope in my recovery. Now, after 8 sessions with Raquel and several months of practice on my own, I can manage pain free intercourse after dilating. I know I am not fully healed in body yet, but I have come such a long way because I was fortunate enough to have a PT who worked just as hard on healing my spirit. I always believe that we get sent the angels we need, and my husband and I truly believe that Raquel was that for us.

If you are dealing with Vaginismus, please don’t hesitate, it is treatable! And you couldn’t hope for a better support in your journey than Raquel. I cannot thank her enough for helping me understand and respect my body and through that, learn how to heal myself.

I am a 28 year old married woman who has suffered with vulvar pain for seven years. I started having problems in college and made dozens of trips to the campus women’s health clinic to figure out the cause of the pain and how to treat it. Initially, I hoped that it was an allergy to a shampoo or shower gel, but this wasn’t the case. When the women’s clinic couldn’t help me, I met with countless doctors without any answers. I was told that I had recurring yeast infections, but none of the creams or antibiotics took the pain away. One doctor told me that the pain was induced by stress and that I should just stop thinking about it to make it go away.

After several years without a diagnosis or suitable treatment, I started to give up hope. During this time, I started dating an amazing man who helped me continue to search for doctors who could help me. Finally, I found a gynecologist who diagnosed me with vulvodynia in about ten seconds with a q-tip test! I cannot describe the relief I felt to have a diagnosis! She recommended that I read The V Book by Dr. Elizabeth Stewart to learn more about vulvodynia. Tears streamed down my face as I read about other women with vulvodynia. Finally, I had some answers and didn’t feel so alone.

My gynecologist also recommended that I receive physical therapy from Raquel Perlis. What an amazing woman! Raquel has a wonderful way of making her patients feel comfortable and cared for. With the support of Raquel and my loving husband, I am on the road to becoming pain-free. After two months of physical therapy, I am amazed at the progress I have made. I just found out that I am pregnant with my first baby and I have never been more optimistic about the future. Raquel has even given us exercises to prepare for the birth. Seven years ago, I never thought I would be writing this testimonial. Thanks to a wonderful gynecologist and Raquel’s care, I am so happy to share my story with others. Raquel has given me hope, one of the greatest gifts one can give.

Growing up in an extremely religious home, I would fantasize what it would be like the first time I had sex.  All the while, I would sneak around with boys, kissing and touching but never taking the final step.  Sex to me, in my mind, was this magical, romantic moment.  Pure bliss.  However, what I encountered my first time was nothing less than excruciating pain.  In that moment, all of my dreams were shattered.  My husband, then boyfriend, and I tried several more times, at my insistence, but the pain remained.  I felt I’d failed as a woman, as a girlfriend and, most of all, the pleasure I once thought would come from sex culminated in pain that left me emotionally devastated and would keep me from committing to marrying my boyfriend for almost 9 years because I believed I would never be able to have sex the way “normal people” did.

Over the next several years, my husband and I continued to grow in our relationship, but our intimate relationship dwindled.  Once a woman who loved everything about intimacy, I withdrew into myself.  After four years, I felt unable to continue in this manner and sought counseling.  But, it was a complete breakdown and inability to go through with my routine, annual ob/gyn check-up that catapulted me (and my husband) into realizing I needed the help of a sex therapist.  Three years later, and still unable to have sex, we moved to Boston and located a new sex therapist.  Through this therapist, we were introduced to Raquel.  My husband and I had been together over 10 years, without having sex and an extremely sporadic, intimate relationship.  Over the years, I’d conditioned myself to just “go without sex.”  To say I had high hopes when first going to Raquel, would be an extreme overstatement.  Yet, I figured I had nothing to lose.  I definitely never thought I’d be considered a success story, not even close.  I believed I was a complete loser when it came to sex.  But, Raquel worked with my husband and me every step of the way.  Eventually, we came to really look forward to going to see Raquel.  And it wasn’t only that my pain began to subside.  Raquel made us smile, laugh and just downright adore her.  She doesn’t need to tell you she’s committed; her patients can feel her concern for their well-being through her interactions with them.  Raquel is truly an amazing physical therapist.  She taught me about my body and taught my husband and me how to overcome the hurdles we’d avoided for so long.  Almost a decade after my husband and I met, we finally had sex minus the pain. 

Raquel’s patients each have unique story, a singular path to travel to pain-free sex.  As I waited each week in the waiting area, what struck me was how “normal” everyone looked, acted, etc.  I eventually realized I wasn’t a loser, an oddity.  Other “regular” women had problems, too.  They, too, secretly suffered.  Without Raquel’s skills as a physical therapist and her exceptional ability to put her patients at ease, I, and many others, would most likely still be alone.

I started having intercourse at 18; it was painful, but I found a million ways to rationalize the pain: "I'm young, inexperienced, immature, maybe a little uncomfortable, and probably insecure about myself and relationship..." etc. Sex continued to be painful throughout my early twenties, but I mostly ignored the issue assuming that some day, with the right person, I would finally "relax" and enjoy sex.

About two years ago when I met my current boyfriend, it became impossible to deny that something was wrong. I was in a loving relationship with someone I trusted completely, and felt very comfortable with myself and my body, and yet sex still hurt. I asked my doctor about it; she examined me, told me I looked perfectly normal, and sent me off. Not satisfied, I went to a different doctor, and another doctor after that...

After over a year of misdiagnoses, piles of sexual dysfunction books, and a lot of frustration, I finally found a doctor who diagnosed me with vulvar vestibulitis. I never thought I would be so relieved to be diagnosed with a chronic condition! But it was amazing to talk to a doctor who knew exactly what I was going through, and more importantly, knew the steps I could take to control my condition.

She referred me for pelvic floor physical therapy to treat the muscle spasms my body was using to protect itself from the perceived pain of penetration. Even when I get the vestibulitis under control, it's the spasms themselves that are truly painful. After 8 weeks of physical therapy, I'm amazed at my progress. Just this past week I had intercourse for the first time since I began my therapy. I couldn't believe how different it felt. Initially, it made me angry to think about all those doctors who examined me and thought my spasming muscles felt normal -- they definitely did not, and now I know the difference. But more than anger, I feel relief and extreme gratitude that I found a doctor and a therapist who can truly help me. I still have work to do before I'm where I want to be sexually, but I finally have hope. Hope is easily the greatest thing this experience has brought me.

I am a 32 year old, married woman and I have never been able to have intercourse. I first realized that something was wrong when I was 19 and fainted the first time I tried to insert a tampon. When I was 20, I attempted intercourse for the first time but my partner was unable to penetrate at all – as if I had no vaginal opening. I went to the health clinic at my school where the nurse and then a visiting gynecologist examined me. The exams were quite traumatic and painful, though in the end I was judged physically able to have intercourse. I was told to just relax and practice inserting two fingers in my vagina. Once I could do that, I would be able to have sex. But how could I insert two fingers when the thought of inserting even the smallest object made my heart race and palms sweat?

For the past 12 years, I have been under the care of three or four different gynecologists. While they were kind and understanding, pelvic exams were agonizing, mostly unsuccessful, experiences. Additionally, never did I hear the word “vaginismus” and never was I told that there was a way of overcoming my problem besides being told to “drink some wine and relax.” For all of these years, I have kept my secret and lived in fear of people finding out – depressed and frustrated at the thought that what comes so naturally to everyone else was impossible for me. I am sure that my vaginismus played a role in the end of several relationships, though I have been extremely lucky to have found a caring man with whom to share my life.

A few months ago, I just happened to come across an internet article on vaginismus. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized that it described me and my problem perfectly. Finally, there was a name for my condition and finally I realized that I was not alone, that I was not a freak. It was truly a day that changed my life. I just happened to have my annual (unsuccessful) exam the following week at which time I brought up vaginismus with my doctor. This started the ball rolling and brought me to work with Raquel.

I have been having weekly physical therapy sessions for the past two months. In this short period of time, I have gone from shaking at the thought of vaginal penetration to being able to insert my own fingers, tampons, and dilators as large as a penis. Through my work with Raquel, I have been able to teach my body to not clench at the first sign of penetration and through massage she has been able to stretch muscles that have spent years in the contracted state. I feel truly blessed to have found her.

Here's something I don't like to talk about—I am a 30-year-old virgin. This might sound strange, especially when I tell you that I've been married for five years to a wonderful and loving man. But the sad fact is that I've never been able to have intercourse. For me it started with a vaginal strep infection I had as a child—and the accompanying traumatic visit to the doctor. Fast-forward to my pre-teen sex ed class, where the teacher plunged a tampon into a glass of water to show how it popped out into a big blob, and you can see that I had some emotional roadblocks to my comfort with my private parts. In addition, though, there was pain, real pain which took me years and a lot of different doctors to finally diagnose as vulvar vestibulitis. Now, with the help of physical therapy exercises, I'm making significant progress and I feel confident that I'll be able to have intercourse in the near future. I only wish that when I had been ready to try sex ten years ago that there had been some resources on my college campus, or in my doctor's office, to assure me that there was a name for this disorder—and, more importantly, a treatment.

I am writing not only as a clinician who shares patients with Raquel Perlis, but is also an admirer. I have sent clients to Raquel for more than 10 years and I have personally known her for four years.

She has been one of the first in the area of Pelvic floor physical therapy using it for pelvic pain, pain with intercourse (dyspareunia), urinary incontinence and various forms of vulvodynia. She has allowed a whole group of women know that they are not alone. She has made them realize that pain with intercourse or urinary incontinence, or vulvodynia is not something that needs to be hidden but can be taken care of in an open, sensitive manner. She has given many clients who were without hope and new lease on a part of their life that for many was hidden away and they thought would never be adequately treated.

Raquel is a superb clinician as well as kind and considerate of her clients with these delicate issues.

Marjorie Green, M.D., MPH

I have been sending patients to Raquel and her staff, for physical therapy and biofeedback, for over 10 years. They all say the same thing:

"Raquel is marvelous. Such a can-do attitude".

"I was ready to give up, but Raquel kept me going".

"I thought the idea of physical therapy was a little weird, but thanks to Raquel I am enjoying relations with my husband again".

"She is lovely-so kind-so caring."

Elizabeth Stewart, M.D.

Raquel's work is life saving for women who despair of being able to have a normal sex life. Her work is ground breaking and truly remarkable. Not only is she highly skilled knowledgable, she also gives out tremendous warmth, ease and naturalness that allows patients to feel safe and trusting. Every woman I have worked with who has been treated by Raquel tells me she is terrific. Raquel is one of those rare healers who is a true blessing.

Judy Leavitt, Ed.D.